It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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