jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I think your dad took our porno
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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