Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
