why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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