I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
