I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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