Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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