I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Sorry about my life...
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
