I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
