Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
