fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
