OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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