Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
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