ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
