and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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