Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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