i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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