She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
