Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
