Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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