i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize