dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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