I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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