And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize