And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
