we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
