thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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