She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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