Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
How does one acquire holy water?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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