elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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