wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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