If that was your dad, he is hot
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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