So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
