The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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