she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
