Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
