my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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