You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
