just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize