oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
