She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
