You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
