If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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