No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
