Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
