it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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