i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
