Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
