If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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