Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
