Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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