butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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