I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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