remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
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