Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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