Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
