you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
