Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
