it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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